christianfanfic | Something More: Chapter One (Reply)

Title: Something More
Author: norain21 / Sara E.
Rating: PG (Just for some of the emotional angst)
Fandom: Hannah Montana
Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana, the song "Ready. Set. Don't Go", or anything else you might recognize.
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None.
Summary: After Lilly's parents get a divorce, she finds herself depressed and questioning the meaning to life.
A/N: I started this after reading some of Melody Carlson books and figured I should try to include my beliefs into some fan fictions, and here is the product. This fiction is not meant to convert or insult anyones beliefs. This particular fan fiction deals with divorce and is set a little bit before the episode where Miley and Lilly's parents go out

Something More: The Faith Series

#1 Hannah Montana (Lilly’s Story)

Chapter One

Like most kids, I blamed myself for my parents divorce. Somehow I always got dragged into their fights. “Do you think I’m a bad parent?”, “Why’d you let Lilly get away with not doing her chores?”, “What am I supposed to tell Lilly?”, “Why can’t you grow up and take care of your daughter!”, “You don’t know anything about me or my daughter”, “Why’d you let her break curfew?”, and so on. Sometimes my misbehavior would trigger a fight, as you can tell. The fights went from me to the rest of their disagreements. When my mom gave Dad the divorce papers, I felt like I had completely failed in life. I caused them so much pain and suffering, I told myself, that I didn’t deserve to exist anymore. There were times when I wanted to kill myself, because I thought ‘hey, if I’m not here anymore, they can be happy’. If I wasn’t so afraid to die, I probably would have too! Still, I managed to keep a happy-face on and convince other’s around me I was doing just fine with my parents divorce.

One day, Miley’s dad came up to me and said, “I know it must be hard watching your parents go through this. You can talk to me anytime you want, bud.” I felt my stomach cringe and a form of guilt course through my body. He only called Miley bud, and for him to call me that, was basically saying “I know your dad isn’t being there for you, so if you need a father figure, come talk to me”. There was a part of me that considering crying and telling him how much I hate myself, but I didn’t. Instead, I smiled and said thanks, but I’m fine. I’m a real convincing liar. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

Just yesterday, though, I found out that maybe this wasn’t all my fault. After her date with Miley’s dad, she informed me of a missing puzzle piece. My dad was cheating on her, with a girl only twenty-three years old. It’s like having a daughter and wife in one, I bet. No wonder why he doesn’t call me anymore. He promised that we’ll spend the summer together, but I’m slowly starting to realize…that’s probably not true, and even it is… I don’t know if I want to.

As I look in the mirror, I begin to wonder. What is this? Who am I? And why am I here? I wonder why was I born to this family. Why aren’t I Miley Stewart? Or some rich girl living in a Hollywood mansion? Why aren’t I an orphan? Why am I even alive? Is it destiny, science, a mistake, or something more? I ignore these questions, for the time being, and grab my jacket out of my closet and walk away from the mirror. I’m going over to Miley’s for dinner. My mom has a date and I hate being home alone.

“I’m at the startin’ line of the rest of life.

As ready as I’ve ever been. Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes

The prize mine to win…” Miley sings with her dad, while he plays the guitar.

I feel this huge ball of envy roll up inside of me, like a tumble weed collecting all my emotions. As soon as Miley notices me, she says hi, and Robby puts the guitar down. Robby heads into the kitchen to cook.

We watch Pirate’s of The Carribean: At World’s End together, and when it’s over, I follow Miley to her room. She has a queen-sized bed with pink and green bedspread. I grab my pajama’s out of my backpack and go into her bathroom to get dressed. Again, I look into the mirror and have that same thought. Why am I here? Except this time, I decide to tell someone. Miley.

When I come back, I see Miley in her pajama’s getting under the blankets. I plop into bed beside her and cover myself up. Once we’re both comfortable, I ask Miley, “Do you ever wonder why we’re here?”

I feel a little foolish and stupid for asking that. I’m also nervous. But Miley responds, “Sometimes,” she says, “But most of the time, I know.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

This time Miley doesn’t respond right away. She has a weird look on her face, like she’s not comfortable explaining it. I kind of wonder if she was lying when she said she knew, but her mouth starts to open and words come out. “Well, I believe God has plans for us all, and its up to us if we follow them; Follow Him. Sometimes I wonder, but..” she pauses, “Then I remember, that God created me. There’s more to life than being Hannah Montana and living a rich and famous lifestyle.”

I wasn’t expecting that. I knew Miley was Christian, but I didn’t realize what it meant to her. In fact, I hardly know anything about Christianity. Accept that they think Jesus loves me. I don’t know why. Jesus and I never met as far as I’m concerned, and how can a dead guy care about me?

I’ve never put much thought into religion. I know my mom says things like “god bless you” or “I’ll pray for you”, but I don’t know what it means. I guess there’s a lot of things I don’t know. And even though I feel afraid and ashamed and weird; I want to know. It’s just starting to hit me, that I’m wrapped up in a world of skateboarding, Hannah Montana gigs, school, and coping with my parents divorce… I never wondered if there was something more.

TBC.